Hope. Sometimes the only thing to hold onto, yet sometimes the thing we lose quite easily. I consider myself pretty hopeful, actually I consider myself many things, then along comes some sort of incident and I realise that what I thought I was and what I really am don't always correspond. Let me give you an example of a recent event that you will probably have heard about, as it received a lot of media coverage: The Thai Cave Rescue.
So 12 young boys and their coach go on trip to explore some caves, little did they expect to get stuck inside. Things were looking bleak as rescuers searched, rain continued to fall, water rose in the cavevisibility was low and then a navy seal diver lost his life to this treacherous situation. I distanced myself from the event. My first expectation was that if they did discover the boys and their coach, at least some of them, if not all, would have lost their lives. I preferred not to think about it. Then a discovery was made, the whole team was found, alive. Sadly, though, my hope did not increase. I was still afraid because the conditions seemed against the rescuers and I wasn't going to invest my heart into this situation. This was confirmed for me when an experienced navy seal diver lost his life. All hope was gone. That was until I sat in church and the pastor said that one of the mother's of the boys said that the only thing that she has to hold onto is hope. This tiny moment had a major impact on my perspective. And so I prayed. To be honest though, my prayers were a bit weak, because I still wasn't convinced that they woud rescue the whole team, if any of them. But see what I said there, 'I'. Prayer can deliver miracles. I imagine many people around the world were praying. Praying for everyone to come out alive. Little by little my hope increased as the team members slowly emerged. I was still plagued by doubt though, doubt that they would survive, that maybe upon exiting the cave, they would succumb to relief and their bodies would just shut down.
God uses moments like this in my life (and many of our lives, if we choose to reflect on it) to show us His great power. A rescue that seemed humanly impossible, that nature was fighting, that our human hearts were doubting and then against the odds, weeks after disappearing, the coach and the whole team of boys are rescued (alive), by the greatest Rescuer. I know that humans accomplished this great feat, but I know that God enabked them to and used this for His glory. Things looked worse and worse over the course of the fortnight, yet a miraculous outcome was witnessed - worldwide.
So, this is a reminder to me and to you, if you would like, not to lose hope, not to discount the power of prayer (even if it is weak) and the work of God in a world that often seems hopeless, helpless and human.Grab hold of hope. Put your hope in Him and know that no matter how dire the circumstances, He hears and answers (and yes, He does sometimes say no) but let your main hope in Jesus, because when you hope in Him, no matter what happens, your eternity is written into the glory of Heaven.
Thank you for reading. Until next time.
Love and Blessings, Jax xx
PS On a side note, if you want to continue reading, my hope was further encouraged by reading about Lazarus. Jesus raises Lazarus from the dead. Yes, He had the power to prevent the death to start with, but more people came to know Jesus this way. More people came to Christ, became believers and followers of Christ than if He merely saved him (Lazarus) before he had passed away. God works in wondrous ways. Look for Him in the big and the small.
Wednesday, 18 July 2018
Tuesday, 5 June 2018
Hide 'n seek with happiness
People who know me may find it difficult to believe that I am an introvert, an introvert with an outgoing personality. This is a bit of an anomaly, you could say. We often think of introverts as shy, but this isn't necessarily the case, it's just us group of people who get re-energised better alone, people who need alone time to refuel and recharge.
(Here is the link if you would like to find your personality trait, this is just a short one, there are more extensive ones, so if this interests you a great deal then be sure to do a few and see if they match up and what it says about you :) https://www.16personalities.com/free-personality-test
It does not mean we are anti-social, sociopaths or snobs; we really just need time to recover from being with people, even if we had an awesome time. It has nothing to do with the other people, it is just how we were created. For me, I know this is particularly true as I am outgoing and when I did a recent strength 'test', humour came out as my top strength (this may explain my sometimes inappropraite oubursts of laughter, one: because I see humour in many areas in life or two: because the absolute disbelief of something sometimes makes me laugh). So bringing these two things together can be a bit conflicting and confusing.
(Click here if you want to find out your strengths http://www.viacharacter.org/www/Character-Strengths-Survey - yes, it is quite long but worth it - now choose one of your top 6 and use it every day for one week :))
So, why am I telling you this? Well, you would think that not working and being home alone would be just up my alley, but quite the contrary. More than the 'needing a job' (well an income) aspect, or needing a purpose, it is that social interaction is important for most of us and according to the online course I am busy doing ' The Science of Wellbeing' https://www.coursera.org/learn/the-science-of-well-being/home/welcome it actually contributes to making us happier. According to studies, what we think we want and what we should want or even need, often don't match up.
Recently I accepted an offer of part-time work and just that act of having a stable place to go, with lovely colleagues and students has exponentially increased the spring in my step. And so I know that I need alone time, but I am also reminded that social connection is important, even for me as an introvert. So what is my plan, well apart from recommending the amazing online course (you can do it for free - the link is in the previous paragraph) start savouring those social interactions both with people you know and (surprisingly) with those you don't, like while you sit in the train carriage, wait in line for your coffee, and other opportunities.
Moving was hard, but finding a church family, being offered some part-time contract work (with great kids and colleagues), being friendly and just going with circumstances has really helped me. Yes I still battle bouts of anxiety, yes I still stress, but I do this less and less. This course and most importantly my faith (and God's answers to prayer) have created a deeper contentment in me.
So here is to forcing myself to socialise a bit more (yes hubby, a little bit, this does not mean I am going to be 'peopling' all the time, mama still needs quiet thoughts time...just in case he thought he should jam pack our weekends), to savour moments more and to actually put into practice some of the examples from the coursera course.
On that note, I would also like to thank God for answered prayer. For providing me with a job, even though it is only a contract, only He is to thank for this opportunity...although I have been sick for a week and booked off work (much to my dismay, but I am taking it in my stride, because Jax 4.0 can't control germs and so I am simply listening to my body, listening to the doctor and using my time to grow my mind and spend time with God)
Thank you for reading you beautiful people.
Blessings,
Jax 4.0
(Here is the link if you would like to find your personality trait, this is just a short one, there are more extensive ones, so if this interests you a great deal then be sure to do a few and see if they match up and what it says about you :) https://www.16personalities.com/free-personality-test
It does not mean we are anti-social, sociopaths or snobs; we really just need time to recover from being with people, even if we had an awesome time. It has nothing to do with the other people, it is just how we were created. For me, I know this is particularly true as I am outgoing and when I did a recent strength 'test', humour came out as my top strength (this may explain my sometimes inappropraite oubursts of laughter, one: because I see humour in many areas in life or two: because the absolute disbelief of something sometimes makes me laugh). So bringing these two things together can be a bit conflicting and confusing.
(Click here if you want to find out your strengths http://www.viacharacter.org/www/Character-Strengths-Survey - yes, it is quite long but worth it - now choose one of your top 6 and use it every day for one week :))
So, why am I telling you this? Well, you would think that not working and being home alone would be just up my alley, but quite the contrary. More than the 'needing a job' (well an income) aspect, or needing a purpose, it is that social interaction is important for most of us and according to the online course I am busy doing ' The Science of Wellbeing' https://www.coursera.org/learn/the-science-of-well-being/home/welcome it actually contributes to making us happier. According to studies, what we think we want and what we should want or even need, often don't match up.
Recently I accepted an offer of part-time work and just that act of having a stable place to go, with lovely colleagues and students has exponentially increased the spring in my step. And so I know that I need alone time, but I am also reminded that social connection is important, even for me as an introvert. So what is my plan, well apart from recommending the amazing online course (you can do it for free - the link is in the previous paragraph) start savouring those social interactions both with people you know and (surprisingly) with those you don't, like while you sit in the train carriage, wait in line for your coffee, and other opportunities.
Moving was hard, but finding a church family, being offered some part-time contract work (with great kids and colleagues), being friendly and just going with circumstances has really helped me. Yes I still battle bouts of anxiety, yes I still stress, but I do this less and less. This course and most importantly my faith (and God's answers to prayer) have created a deeper contentment in me.
So here is to forcing myself to socialise a bit more (yes hubby, a little bit, this does not mean I am going to be 'peopling' all the time, mama still needs quiet thoughts time...just in case he thought he should jam pack our weekends), to savour moments more and to actually put into practice some of the examples from the coursera course.
On that note, I would also like to thank God for answered prayer. For providing me with a job, even though it is only a contract, only He is to thank for this opportunity...although I have been sick for a week and booked off work (much to my dismay, but I am taking it in my stride, because Jax 4.0 can't control germs and so I am simply listening to my body, listening to the doctor and using my time to grow my mind and spend time with God)
Thank you for reading you beautiful people.
Blessings,
Jax 4.0
Tuesday, 15 May 2018
Forty part 2
Today marks one month of forty-ness. I am still finding my forties, but what I can say is that I am quite enjoying the updated version of myself, 'Jax 4.0' as I like to call it. So what does Jax 4.0 mean? I am still figuring this out as I go along, but at this stage it means the relaxed, chilled, go-with-the-flow version of me. It doesn't mean not having an opinion, but more so about not stressing about things out of my control, doing the best I can with the circumstances I face and enjoying this one life I have been blessed with. Instead of getting frustrated, I will be aim to be more peaceful, calm and friendly. I notice more and more how apologetic people are when there are long waits and I imagine that sometimes these folks get some irate customers yelling at them for things they are unable to control. So my pledge is simply this for now, that when I can't control the circumstances, be it long queues, or whatever, that I embrace it. The world has enough negativity and nastiness, than for me to add to it and blame myself or others for things out of my/their control. Obviously, I will be reasonable, I do value justice, but when it simply means being friendly or polite, considering others and showing compassion and kindness, these are the areas I hope to work on and improve upon in my forties. That does not mean the sass is gone, it just means that I will try leave more positve footprints on my daily journeys and hopefully these footprints will step into the hearts and lives of those who need a laugh, some love and a whole lotta charisma. In general, I am pretty positive, but I did let stress get a hold of my attitude, and this was never helpful for my mental health (which, if you have read my previous posts, you will agree that it was not helpful for me and anyone really).
We have been blessed with one life, we have been gifted talents and we have been given this beautiful world, so please join with me in enjoying it. There will be tough times, but help me as I embrace positivity, joy, laughter and love, show gratitude, be kind and try make other people's day better rather than worse.
Thank you for reading
Jax 4.0.
We have been blessed with one life, we have been gifted talents and we have been given this beautiful world, so please join with me in enjoying it. There will be tough times, but help me as I embrace positivity, joy, laughter and love, show gratitude, be kind and try make other people's day better rather than worse.
Thank you for reading
Jax 4.0.
Wednesday, 2 May 2018
What the forty part 1
Less than a week ago I entered my forties, and to be honest I do not know where the time went. I have memories of highschool like they were yesterday, back when I thought 30 was ancient, yet now I am 40 and certainly don't feel ancient (maybe just a little less agile). 'Round-number' birthdays are considered 'big ones' and I suppose with that label, I have felt the urge to reflect on the past 10 years of my life.
My 30th birthday was celebrated in my country of birth South Africa. We were in the process of applying to move to Australia. We were desperate to become parents despite two unsuccessful rounds of IVF, owned our own home, had secure jobs and family close by. Despite some of the hurdles, we were mostly settled before deciding that we wanted to relocate to a new country.
Anyway, I digress. We have now been in Australia for almost a decade and they have certainly been a busy 10 years. We were blessed with our daughter who is now 7, I have experienced a variety of eductional settings, which I believe contribute to my understanding and empathy for our young people. Furthermore, I completed a Master of Education focusing on School Guidance and Counselling. When I write these things down, I feel somewhat better about where I am. I had this notion that by 40 I should have life figured out. We would own a home, I would be in my perfect profession and I would be pretty confident at this whole adulting thing.
As I look at these expectations, I see that I put a lot of pressure on myself (I think most of us are guilty of this) and then feel like a failure for the things I have not achieved. But then I look at the enriching life experiences I have been blessed with and realise that by God's grace, I have achieved much. I don't suppose I will ever confidently 'adult', but I certainly will take more notice of the things that have brought me to where I am. 30's certainly overflowed with blessings and experiences. Some were difficult, like leaving family and friends to move to another country, facing mental health struggles and more, but overall I can say that for the most part 30's helped me grow into present day me (Jacqui 4.0 hahaha).
30's helped me learn more about the world, it helped me realise how little I do know and how much I still have to learn. Mostly though it taught me that it's ok not to have everything figured out, not to have achieved every goal ever set. It helped me realise that life is more than a set of goals, but the journey we take from start to finish. I was a bit hard on myself initally, thinking that by 40 I should have done this, that and the other. But when I look back on the places I have visited, friends I have made, experiences I have had, they have been wonderful and rich and once again I am reminded how blessed I am, how much I have to be grateful for and that there is more to life than a set of goals. Goals are good, but I won't let them define me or let the lack of reaching them all make me feel inadequate. Here is to 'Fearless' 40, I am still job hunting and hoping to own my own home, but for now I celebrate the last 10 years and remind myself of the bigger picture - I have learnt more, grown more and lived more. Let's be kinder to ourselves. Here's to the next 40 (kaa-ching of champagne glasses).
Thank you for reading.
Blessings,
Jax
My 30th birthday was celebrated in my country of birth South Africa. We were in the process of applying to move to Australia. We were desperate to become parents despite two unsuccessful rounds of IVF, owned our own home, had secure jobs and family close by. Despite some of the hurdles, we were mostly settled before deciding that we wanted to relocate to a new country.
Anyway, I digress. We have now been in Australia for almost a decade and they have certainly been a busy 10 years. We were blessed with our daughter who is now 7, I have experienced a variety of eductional settings, which I believe contribute to my understanding and empathy for our young people. Furthermore, I completed a Master of Education focusing on School Guidance and Counselling. When I write these things down, I feel somewhat better about where I am. I had this notion that by 40 I should have life figured out. We would own a home, I would be in my perfect profession and I would be pretty confident at this whole adulting thing.
As I look at these expectations, I see that I put a lot of pressure on myself (I think most of us are guilty of this) and then feel like a failure for the things I have not achieved. But then I look at the enriching life experiences I have been blessed with and realise that by God's grace, I have achieved much. I don't suppose I will ever confidently 'adult', but I certainly will take more notice of the things that have brought me to where I am. 30's certainly overflowed with blessings and experiences. Some were difficult, like leaving family and friends to move to another country, facing mental health struggles and more, but overall I can say that for the most part 30's helped me grow into present day me (Jacqui 4.0 hahaha).
30's helped me learn more about the world, it helped me realise how little I do know and how much I still have to learn. Mostly though it taught me that it's ok not to have everything figured out, not to have achieved every goal ever set. It helped me realise that life is more than a set of goals, but the journey we take from start to finish. I was a bit hard on myself initally, thinking that by 40 I should have done this, that and the other. But when I look back on the places I have visited, friends I have made, experiences I have had, they have been wonderful and rich and once again I am reminded how blessed I am, how much I have to be grateful for and that there is more to life than a set of goals. Goals are good, but I won't let them define me or let the lack of reaching them all make me feel inadequate. Here is to 'Fearless' 40, I am still job hunting and hoping to own my own home, but for now I celebrate the last 10 years and remind myself of the bigger picture - I have learnt more, grown more and lived more. Let's be kinder to ourselves. Here's to the next 40 (kaa-ching of champagne glasses).
Thank you for reading.
Blessings,
Jax
Friday, 6 April 2018
Courageously kind
I have encountered a few people on this journey of life who consider kindness a weakness, an act of of cowardice and submission. Over the years it has given me much to ponder upon. In a world of suffering, pain, dread, despair, death, acts of violence and so the list goes on, we tend to feel the need to stand up for our rights, even if it means anger, aggression and dominance, just to make a point. This has led me to reflect on my own views, responses and reactions. Cultivating kindness is not easy, not for me anyway. I was of the impression that I am generally quite kind, but recently, this was challenged by a very inspiring talk I attended and it made me reflect more deeply on the true essence of kindness.
Randon Acts of Kindness are much talked about, paying it forward and just generally being a harmonious person could be considered kindness, but do I actively seek out being kind? As a teacher I have found that I respond to my students with compassion and kindness, as a human I am generally pretty nice, but where would this put me on the kindness scale, were there such a thing? I love the idea of acts of kindness and by no means think we should dismiss or stop it, quite the contrary, I think we should actively seek opportunities to be kind frequently. But more than this, the talk I went to challenged me and reminded me once again of my belief that kindness is not weakness. It is strength, it is courage, it is downright scary bravery. Dictionary defintions of kindness include being friendly, generous and considerate, but this hardly does the word any justice. I think most of us fit this loose kindness mould. So what was so challenging? Well, kindness should be something that pushes us out of our comfort zone, something we show to all people, not just those we like or like us back or can benefit us. Nope, we should be kind to everyone, to those who we dislike, to those who dislike us and even those who threaten our lives, families, homes, religion, culture, gender. Basically, it includes loving our enemies and more so, we should go out of our way to show them goodness, without expecting anything back. No expectations of rewards, acknowledgement, just sincere, unselfish kindness. This is kindness in it's raw, extreme form. Genuine, unconditional, no strings attached. Kindness goes beyond the confines of expectations, it is a serious choice, a choice to defy what society says, even to defy our own harsh opinions, our own hurts and resentments and those things that threaten us. To be kind is to rise above and this kind of rising is not easy. Not at all.
Our society is riddled with hostility, intolerance, selfishness, violence and entitlement. I don't know about you, but I have let these harsh realities influence my perspectives and interactions with the world. I choose kindness, but I choose it on my terms. I choose who I want to be kind to. The talk I attended challenged me, because it urged me to see that kindness is meant to be unconventional, courageous and extreme. It's about keeping on being kind, even when people don't change, it's about loving those considered 'unloveable' and not being brainwashed by the media or negative influences surrounding us. Being kind is about looking at the bigger picture; beyond my little bubble. It is selfless, accepting and non-judgmental. This talk on kindness by Robyn Bain challenged me even more as a Christian. She reminded me that the more I know God's kindness, the more I can truly understand my application of it in a world that concerns itself more with justice than gentleness. It is up to me to seek out God's kindness to me. I am loved, despite having been an enemy of Jesus, He proactively and unconditionally loves me. This extreme kindness is what I want to aspire to. I feel convicted of my 'shallow' view of kindness, kindness that has clauses and fineprint.
This inspiration is a timely reminder that I need to take myself out of the picture and put the world before me into the shot. Do to others as you would have them do to you, even if you know they won't. It is not about justice or acknowledgement. Kindness disarms. Kindness is universal, it speaks all languages, extends over all generations, cultures, genders, nationalities. Don't let anyone tell you that kindness is a sign of weakness. It is actually a sign of great strength, and even more so when our world is threatened, yet we continue to choose kindness.
Join me in the challenge to fully know kindness, to understand true kindness and to show kindness without limits. Hold me accountable.
If you are interested in reading more about kindness in the Bible may I encourage you to read Luke chapter 6 verse 27 -36 and Romans 5 verse 6 -10.
The verses are below:
Love for Enemies (Luke chapter 6 verse 27 -36)
27 “But to you who are listening I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, 28 bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. 29 If someone slaps you on one cheek, turn to them the other also. If someone takes your coat, do not withhold your shirt from them. 30 Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back. 31 Do to others as you would have them do to you.
32 “If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners love those who love them. 33 And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners do that. 34 And if you lend to those from whom you expect repayment, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, expecting to be repaid in full.35 But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be children of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. 36 Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.
God has been kind first - Romans 5:6-10
6 You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. 7 Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous person, though for a good person someone might possibly dare to die. 8 But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
9 Since we have now been justified by his blood, how much more shall we be saved from God’s wrath through him! 10 For if, while we were God’s enemies, we were reconciled to him through the death of his Son, how much more, having been reconciled, shall we be saved through his life! 11 Not only is this so, but we also boast in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.
Sunday, 18 March 2018
Listen to the call
The other day Stephen Hawking (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stephen_Hawking) passed away at the age of 76. Before I heard this news I was feeling a little down because I was not successful in a job interview I had had the previous day. A strange thing happened though, when I read of Stephen's passing, my sadness changed course. The job seemed somewhat irrelevant at that moment, because his death reminded me of something so much more important.
Stephen Hawking, despite his illness, made significant contributions to the world. His knowledge and abilities were not restricted by his failing body. Stephen Hawking was diagnosed with A.L.S (a motor neurone disease https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amyotrophic_lateral_sclerosis) at the age of 21. Although it was a slow onset, to live another 55 years after this diagnosis is quite a miracle, considering doctor's said once he was diagnosed, his life expectancy would only be about two years. Stephen Hawking did not let his disability restrict his ability and that is praiseworthy, that in the face of adversity, this man made remarkable contributions to the world of science and advancement.
So, what saddened me? If you do not share my faith, you may want to stop reading here, but I encourage to read a little further, to see why I felt a sense of heartache for this man, and mankind. In life, he was a role-model, someone who lived with purpose, who did not let an illness control him. We can learn so much from this attitude in our own lives. But, and this is what saddened me, is that Stephen Hawking is an atheist. Please don't get me wrong, we all have our beliefs, but recently my devotions have been looking at ideas relating to this, to how God calls upon, and we can choose to follow or ignore Him. Freedom of choice. This is something we are given by God, but there is a consequence after we die if we choose not to. Until recently I was a bit disconnected from God. If you read some of my previous posts you would see that a few things contributed to this disconnection. That aside, moving and being jobless has had its advantages, the advantage of restoring my relationship with God and Jesus. Faith cannot be seen, but if you feel some sort of emptiness or your soul quenching for more, please look into it before just disregarding God.
To live with purpose is more than just overcoming adversity, well for me any way. My belief is that God calls upon each of us. Sometimes we have a whole lifetime to heed the call and follow. Stephen Hawking, a great scientist, not only did not believe, but was even of the impression that he and the world do not need God. Has he seen this world? His length of life in itself is a miracle. We do not know what happened in his final days or on his death bed. But, what we do get here is a lesson. Now is the time. What do you believe? Can I urge you that before you discredit God that you really search for Him. Make sure for yourself. Ask Christian friends, read a Bible, learn about Jesus. We all have a choice about whether we submit to Jesus or not, but if we choose not to, our eternal life after death will not be one of rejoicing.
Life is full of lessons, opportunities and blessings. My prayer for you is that if you got this far, if you are questioning faith or God, that you really seek Him and that you can enjoy life eternal in rejoicing and perfection. The world is a mess. And I know we question God and His presence and why He lets things happen. One blog post is not enough to go into all that. But if you trust, if you submit and believe in Jesus, the answers become clear. Life doesn't make sense, doesn't go according to plan, but there is one certain. All I am saying is try it, not half-heartedly, but invest in it, like you do your favourite TV show. Learn as much as you can and then decide. You never know what you will discover, at least give it a go. Professor Hawking saw no need or evidence of God, because of laws of science and physics, but it pains me to think that the potential beauty of human nature comes down to physics. What if heaven isn't a fairy story, as he suggests. Say it is real. Listen to the voice in your soul. Respond to the call. Stephen was gifted over 50 years of opportunities to see life goes beyong science. Yes, the world is messed up, but there is so much beauty in creation, in human beings, in life, that a mere 'Big Bang', an event of chance created me is not enough to explain the indescribable world we live in. You don't know when your future on earth will end. Professor Hawking was gifted with more years than medical experts or he expected. I can't put that down to science or medicine alone. Please, don't ignore that yearning you may feel within. Whether you sort of beleve or don't believe at all, give it some thought, rather than just accepting.
Stephen Hawking, we thank you for changing our world, our persepctives and teaching us to perservere in all circumstances, but not to be limited. Be limitless. Take time to explore all avenues. May you find hope in darkness. May Jesus reveal Himself to you.
Thank you for reading.
Blessings,
Jacqui.
To live with purpose is more than just overcoming adversity, well for me any way. My belief is that God calls upon each of us. Sometimes we have a whole lifetime to heed the call and follow. Stephen Hawking, a great scientist, not only did not believe, but was even of the impression that he and the world do not need God. Has he seen this world? His length of life in itself is a miracle. We do not know what happened in his final days or on his death bed. But, what we do get here is a lesson. Now is the time. What do you believe? Can I urge you that before you discredit God that you really search for Him. Make sure for yourself. Ask Christian friends, read a Bible, learn about Jesus. We all have a choice about whether we submit to Jesus or not, but if we choose not to, our eternal life after death will not be one of rejoicing.
Life is full of lessons, opportunities and blessings. My prayer for you is that if you got this far, if you are questioning faith or God, that you really seek Him and that you can enjoy life eternal in rejoicing and perfection. The world is a mess. And I know we question God and His presence and why He lets things happen. One blog post is not enough to go into all that. But if you trust, if you submit and believe in Jesus, the answers become clear. Life doesn't make sense, doesn't go according to plan, but there is one certain. All I am saying is try it, not half-heartedly, but invest in it, like you do your favourite TV show. Learn as much as you can and then decide. You never know what you will discover, at least give it a go. Professor Hawking saw no need or evidence of God, because of laws of science and physics, but it pains me to think that the potential beauty of human nature comes down to physics. What if heaven isn't a fairy story, as he suggests. Say it is real. Listen to the voice in your soul. Respond to the call. Stephen was gifted over 50 years of opportunities to see life goes beyong science. Yes, the world is messed up, but there is so much beauty in creation, in human beings, in life, that a mere 'Big Bang', an event of chance created me is not enough to explain the indescribable world we live in. You don't know when your future on earth will end. Professor Hawking was gifted with more years than medical experts or he expected. I can't put that down to science or medicine alone. Please, don't ignore that yearning you may feel within. Whether you sort of beleve or don't believe at all, give it some thought, rather than just accepting.
Stephen Hawking, we thank you for changing our world, our persepctives and teaching us to perservere in all circumstances, but not to be limited. Be limitless. Take time to explore all avenues. May you find hope in darkness. May Jesus reveal Himself to you.
Thank you for reading.
Blessings,
Jacqui.
Thursday, 22 February 2018
Made strong in struggles
A sincere and heartfelt thank you to all your positive, encouraging and loving messages on my previous post. Your beauty on my life's journey is just one of the precious treasures that gives me hope each day, and I really do appreciate your kindness when things around me sometimes seem as if they are falling apart. Exposing vulnerability is never easy, and so I thank you for supporting and loving on me.
I am pretty good at hiding who I really am. I am able to manage my symptoms quite well, but I am also really good at veiling my true emotions from the world. They're there but hidden, for fear that people won't like the unveiled version of me. High fucntioning anxiety is an actual term that I relate to, this veil helps me separate myself and avoid the reality of the truth sometimes. This is a daily reality for me, yes some days are good and some not so good, but once you have opened up, the last thing you want is to sound like a broken record, replaying the same old tune repetitively. I don't want to be a burden, and although each day may resemble previous days, saying the same thing day after day is social suicide.In saying this though, what I do know is that God hears my prayers and struggles every day. He doesn't grow tired of the repetitive tune of my voice, instead, He has reminded of so much more. One way us 'high functioning' worriers avoid the waves of fear and doubt is by keeping busy. I still experience these emotions, but had other things to occupy my day with. Since moving and not working, I have too much time, and empty time is not a helpful place to be. I am not one that loves housework and I really need to get a hobby, but in saying that I spend more time stressing that I need to work as we need two incomes, especially here, where rent is higher among other things. I have however used this time to reconnect with God and this is a definite highlight in my lonely hours at home.
I know that for some, mental health challenges are so much more challenging and I am 'lucky' that I am able to manage and cope, even if it is with much convincing (myself). I believe that my strength to face the day comes from God. And even when I have neglected to see this or to feel His presence, He was there sustaining me. I used to think that struggling with fear, anxiety and waves of depression or anger showed my lack of committment to God, that I am lacking in faith and less of a 'Christian' than my Christian friends. Let's be honest, as a believer, regular spiritual check ups are important. I allowed my anxiety to control me, it prevented me from connecting with God. My relationship with Him was strained all because of my doubts about myself. I allowed the evil one to make me feel unworthy of God's love and grace. I have been connecting a lot more with God since moving here, and after reading one of Paul's accounts where he prays for God to take away a health issue he is struggling with. God does not. Not because God doesn't care, not because God doesn't heal or answer prayers, but rather, our weaknesses are a great reminder of our reliance on God. God responds to Paul (2 Corinthians 12v9) by saying 'My grace is sufficient for you, my power is made perfect in wekaness'. Basically, we need to use our weaknesses to remember God because our spiritual health is the most important heath there is. So, in saying that I am trusting in God's purpose. Paul prayed for healing and although he did not receive that, he received things far greater, far greater than earthly healing. He received grace, a stronger character, humility and increased empathy. So although I may not always understand this 'inconvenience' and it weakens me physically and mentally, it no longer weakens me spiritually. It has taken me a very long time to come to this realisation and I thank God for revealing this to me.
Although being at home and a little out of sorts, it has been for a reason. This week I had some work and I thank God for that. Monday I came to God, with my very real fears and weaknesses. Each morning I have woken up and wondered if I might get a call for a day of relief teaching. I will my phone not to ring, yet I need to work. That anticipation is just so much more than I can handle, and struggling with the things I struggle with, I am a bit of a nervous wreck. So, I prayed. I have been praying a lot more, but on Monday I was vulnerable and prayed for specific things. I have been praying for a permanent job, a place where God wants me to be, but in the meantime I am happy to do some relief teaching. Firstly I prayed that I would have work this week, secondly I prayed that it would be at hubby's school and thirdly, a very hard prayer for this one, was that I would be notified the day before. Monday evening, I got a phonecall from the man who organises relief teachers at hubby's school for work the next day. Talk about answer to prayer - He cares for me even in the little things. Maybe you don't share my beliefs, but for me this is very real and I have witnessed many answers to prayer. strength in situations that probably could have destroyed me and the opportunity to listen and trust God more than I have in recent months.
I feel more secure in my mental health journey. I feel that I can share it more openly with others, I feel that it isn't a reflection on my faith unless I allow it to be (or allow the evil one to cast doubt and judgement on me). Paul's circumstances were really harsh from jail time, attacks, shipwrecks and his health, but he got his strength from God. I know that Jesus did not come to take challenges away, but rather to change us on the inside and to empower us to deal with struggles from God's perspective, to use these struggles to deepen our faith.
Hindsight and the fact that it seems my anxiety is genetic, I am sure this 'dark passenger' will continue to travel with me, but I will look at it differently now and when I forget, please remind me of this post.
Thank you again for reading.
Blessings,
Jax
I am pretty good at hiding who I really am. I am able to manage my symptoms quite well, but I am also really good at veiling my true emotions from the world. They're there but hidden, for fear that people won't like the unveiled version of me. High fucntioning anxiety is an actual term that I relate to, this veil helps me separate myself and avoid the reality of the truth sometimes. This is a daily reality for me, yes some days are good and some not so good, but once you have opened up, the last thing you want is to sound like a broken record, replaying the same old tune repetitively. I don't want to be a burden, and although each day may resemble previous days, saying the same thing day after day is social suicide.In saying this though, what I do know is that God hears my prayers and struggles every day. He doesn't grow tired of the repetitive tune of my voice, instead, He has reminded of so much more. One way us 'high functioning' worriers avoid the waves of fear and doubt is by keeping busy. I still experience these emotions, but had other things to occupy my day with. Since moving and not working, I have too much time, and empty time is not a helpful place to be. I am not one that loves housework and I really need to get a hobby, but in saying that I spend more time stressing that I need to work as we need two incomes, especially here, where rent is higher among other things. I have however used this time to reconnect with God and this is a definite highlight in my lonely hours at home.
I know that for some, mental health challenges are so much more challenging and I am 'lucky' that I am able to manage and cope, even if it is with much convincing (myself). I believe that my strength to face the day comes from God. And even when I have neglected to see this or to feel His presence, He was there sustaining me. I used to think that struggling with fear, anxiety and waves of depression or anger showed my lack of committment to God, that I am lacking in faith and less of a 'Christian' than my Christian friends. Let's be honest, as a believer, regular spiritual check ups are important. I allowed my anxiety to control me, it prevented me from connecting with God. My relationship with Him was strained all because of my doubts about myself. I allowed the evil one to make me feel unworthy of God's love and grace. I have been connecting a lot more with God since moving here, and after reading one of Paul's accounts where he prays for God to take away a health issue he is struggling with. God does not. Not because God doesn't care, not because God doesn't heal or answer prayers, but rather, our weaknesses are a great reminder of our reliance on God. God responds to Paul (2 Corinthians 12v9) by saying 'My grace is sufficient for you, my power is made perfect in wekaness'. Basically, we need to use our weaknesses to remember God because our spiritual health is the most important heath there is. So, in saying that I am trusting in God's purpose. Paul prayed for healing and although he did not receive that, he received things far greater, far greater than earthly healing. He received grace, a stronger character, humility and increased empathy. So although I may not always understand this 'inconvenience' and it weakens me physically and mentally, it no longer weakens me spiritually. It has taken me a very long time to come to this realisation and I thank God for revealing this to me.
Although being at home and a little out of sorts, it has been for a reason. This week I had some work and I thank God for that. Monday I came to God, with my very real fears and weaknesses. Each morning I have woken up and wondered if I might get a call for a day of relief teaching. I will my phone not to ring, yet I need to work. That anticipation is just so much more than I can handle, and struggling with the things I struggle with, I am a bit of a nervous wreck. So, I prayed. I have been praying a lot more, but on Monday I was vulnerable and prayed for specific things. I have been praying for a permanent job, a place where God wants me to be, but in the meantime I am happy to do some relief teaching. Firstly I prayed that I would have work this week, secondly I prayed that it would be at hubby's school and thirdly, a very hard prayer for this one, was that I would be notified the day before. Monday evening, I got a phonecall from the man who organises relief teachers at hubby's school for work the next day. Talk about answer to prayer - He cares for me even in the little things. Maybe you don't share my beliefs, but for me this is very real and I have witnessed many answers to prayer. strength in situations that probably could have destroyed me and the opportunity to listen and trust God more than I have in recent months.
I feel more secure in my mental health journey. I feel that I can share it more openly with others, I feel that it isn't a reflection on my faith unless I allow it to be (or allow the evil one to cast doubt and judgement on me). Paul's circumstances were really harsh from jail time, attacks, shipwrecks and his health, but he got his strength from God. I know that Jesus did not come to take challenges away, but rather to change us on the inside and to empower us to deal with struggles from God's perspective, to use these struggles to deepen our faith.
Hindsight and the fact that it seems my anxiety is genetic, I am sure this 'dark passenger' will continue to travel with me, but I will look at it differently now and when I forget, please remind me of this post.
Thank you again for reading.
Blessings,
Jax
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