A sincere and heartfelt thank you to all your positive, encouraging and loving messages on my previous post. Your beauty on my life's journey is just one of the precious treasures that gives me hope each day, and I really do appreciate your kindness when things around me sometimes seem as if they are falling apart. Exposing vulnerability is never easy, and so I thank you for supporting and loving on me.
I am pretty good at hiding who I really am. I am able to manage my symptoms quite well, but I am also really good at veiling my true emotions from the world. They're there but hidden, for fear that people won't like the unveiled version of me. High fucntioning anxiety is an actual term that I relate to, this veil helps me separate myself and avoid the reality of the truth sometimes. This is a daily reality for me, yes some days are good and some not so good, but once you have opened up, the last thing you want is to sound like a broken record, replaying the same old tune repetitively. I don't want to be a burden, and although each day may resemble previous days, saying the same thing day after day is social suicide.In saying this though, what I do know is that God hears my prayers and struggles every day. He doesn't grow tired of the repetitive tune of my voice, instead, He has reminded of so much more. One way us 'high functioning' worriers avoid the waves of fear and doubt is by keeping busy. I still experience these emotions, but had other things to occupy my day with. Since moving and not working, I have too much time, and empty time is not a helpful place to be. I am not one that loves housework and I really need to get a hobby, but in saying that I spend more time stressing that I need to work as we need two incomes, especially here, where rent is higher among other things. I have however used this time to reconnect with God and this is a definite highlight in my lonely hours at home.
I know that for some, mental health challenges are so much more challenging and I am 'lucky' that I am able to manage and cope, even if it is with much convincing (myself). I believe that my strength to face the day comes from God. And even when I have neglected to see this or to feel His presence, He was there sustaining me. I used to think that struggling with fear, anxiety and waves of depression or anger showed my lack of committment to God, that I am lacking in faith and less of a 'Christian' than my Christian friends. Let's be honest, as a believer, regular spiritual check ups are important. I allowed my anxiety to control me, it prevented me from connecting with God. My relationship with Him was strained all because of my doubts about myself. I allowed the evil one to make me feel unworthy of God's love and grace. I have been connecting a lot more with God since moving here, and after reading one of Paul's accounts where he prays for God to take away a health issue he is struggling with. God does not. Not because God doesn't care, not because God doesn't heal or answer prayers, but rather, our weaknesses are a great reminder of our reliance on God. God responds to Paul (2 Corinthians 12v9) by saying 'My grace is sufficient for you, my power is made perfect in wekaness'. Basically, we need to use our weaknesses to remember God because our spiritual health is the most important heath there is. So, in saying that I am trusting in God's purpose. Paul prayed for healing and although he did not receive that, he received things far greater, far greater than earthly healing. He received grace, a stronger character, humility and increased empathy. So although I may not always understand this 'inconvenience' and it weakens me physically and mentally, it no longer weakens me spiritually. It has taken me a very long time to come to this realisation and I thank God for revealing this to me.
Although being at home and a little out of sorts, it has been for a reason. This week I had some work and I thank God for that. Monday I came to God, with my very real fears and weaknesses. Each morning I have woken up and wondered if I might get a call for a day of relief teaching. I will my phone not to ring, yet I need to work. That anticipation is just so much more than I can handle, and struggling with the things I struggle with, I am a bit of a nervous wreck. So, I prayed. I have been praying a lot more, but on Monday I was vulnerable and prayed for specific things. I have been praying for a permanent job, a place where God wants me to be, but in the meantime I am happy to do some relief teaching. Firstly I prayed that I would have work this week, secondly I prayed that it would be at hubby's school and thirdly, a very hard prayer for this one, was that I would be notified the day before. Monday evening, I got a phonecall from the man who organises relief teachers at hubby's school for work the next day. Talk about answer to prayer - He cares for me even in the little things. Maybe you don't share my beliefs, but for me this is very real and I have witnessed many answers to prayer. strength in situations that probably could have destroyed me and the opportunity to listen and trust God more than I have in recent months.
I feel more secure in my mental health journey. I feel that I can share it more openly with others, I feel that it isn't a reflection on my faith unless I allow it to be (or allow the evil one to cast doubt and judgement on me). Paul's circumstances were really harsh from jail time, attacks, shipwrecks and his health, but he got his strength from God. I know that Jesus did not come to take challenges away, but rather to change us on the inside and to empower us to deal with struggles from God's perspective, to use these struggles to deepen our faith.
Hindsight and the fact that it seems my anxiety is genetic, I am sure this 'dark passenger' will continue to travel with me, but I will look at it differently now and when I forget, please remind me of this post.
Thank you again for reading.
Blessings,
Jax
Thursday 22 February 2018
Thursday 8 February 2018
Blue Monday
Ironically, after my last post (about perspective), I had a terrible day of dread, despair and darkness. I wish I could explain to you the feeling I woke with. Apart from the throbbing headache, my brain felt cloudy and distant. The trouble with days like these, is that they arrive unannounced. Though in saying that, I am pretty good at noticing the warning signs and then ignoring them, bit like an ostrich really, hide your head in the sand and all will disappear.
I have always been a fearful person, too much so probably. I am afraid of death/injury, of a loved one dying/being harmed, driving over bridges, of all sorts random of things. Sadly fear has dominated much of my life in one way or another. I just hide it really well, behind smiles and positivity. When my mental health is wobbly though, the fear surfaces more blatantly and I try fight it with every ounce of power I can muster. The self-talk, self-coaching, the encouraging, motivating. I feel like I am my own motivational speaker. I tell you what, before the day even really begins, I am exhausted from just getting myself to rise from the abyss of tentacles trying to claw me back into the depths of darkness. Mornings seem so long and often getting out the house is quite an achievement. I am happy to say that these kinds of days have been far less frequent, and so I had sort of forgotten (chosen to forget) about the warning signs. Things that I had under control and developed coping mechanisms for, every so often, transform themselves back into that ominous shadowy passenger that tags along for the ride, uninvited mind you. I find myself more on edge. It's been months since I was freaking out (overly so) about any unlocked or open doors in the evening. This is going to sound absurd, but before I had medication to help me sleep, I would wander around the house at several intervals throughout the night to check that doors were locked. What started as me just not being able to sleep became unhealthy, without me even knowing it.Sitting here writing this, I am even doubting whether I should post this because, well because, even for me reading it, I think to myself, gosh, how preposterous. But for me it is so real and so terrifying in the moment. I would freak out, even if the door was locked but the flyscreen gate not, or if the door was simply locked with the latch and not the keys as well. I am scared to say the next part too, because it sounds so super crazy, but I on occasion would search the house with a torch for intruders; under beds, in cupboards, all sorts of places, while my husband and daughter were in contentedly in dreamland. All night, I would be unsettled, worrying about the safety of my family. The night that I didn't do full on hunts, I still wandered around checking the doors and gates, checking my daughter's room for potential kidnappers. As I mentioned earlier, in the moment it is all so very real and uncontrollable, it becomes an unhealthy obsession. I think motherhood plays a role in heightening that protective gene, and when you are already struggling with anxiety, well, then it just exacerbates it. One night, after going to bed, I woke up soon after falling asleep and insisted my husband get the spare mattress for our daughter, so that she could come sleep in our room. She was fast asleep in her own bed, in her own room, had been so for an hour or two, but I was a 'lunatic' lady and needed that to be done. No questions asked, that was the only solution and I wouldnt have it any other way. My dearest husband didn't question me much, he seemed a little confused, but I think my terror and panic and sense of urgency caused him to oblige to the obscure demand. When I think about it and write about it, I am astounded that this one part of me has so much control over me. My common sense brain tells me that I am being tricked by my brain, that anxiety is controlling me, but in the moment, sense and objectivity float somewhere below the level of conscious thought. This is why I say the self-talk and motivation is exhausting, because I know that my mind is controlling me, I know reality versus fiction, but the control anxiety can have over a person is enormous and all consuming.
So Monday was 'blue', I felt 'blue' and like I said I had some warning signs. I had a little worry about leaving the laundry door open for the cat in the evening while little miss is alseep in her room, I had a go at poor the poor husband for only locking the laundry gate and not the door as well. I couldn't bring myself to go out much especially while my hubby was away on school camp, apart from taking my daughter to school and fetching her again, for fear I may be involved in a car accident or some other misfortune manifested itself.
As I said though, I am more in control of these unhelpful thoughts now, but they wait until I feel down and emerge like a spider from beneath a couch, unannounced and unwelcome, but with no choice but to see that it is there. The response, that is where it all lies. Do you rescue it and put it outside? Do you spray it with poison? Flatten it with a shoe or broom? Make friends with it? I am still figuring things out and I know that at this very moment, I am struggling a bit in this area. Change; stress; things beyond my control; all take refuge in my mind. What I can say is that when I look back, I can see progress and ownership. In the past I felt weak when admitting to struggling with my own mental health, but I feel stronger and am slowly becoming more unapologetically accepting of this journey. There are going to be'blue mondays' and 'blue any other days' of the week for that matter, but I feel that they are less frequent than they used to be and blue is better than black, so that's a positive. It reminds me that I need to let my brain zone out a little, otherwise I may feel like going to the deserted island I wanted to go to all by myself indefinitely. I know that I also need to exercise and eat better, because when I do this properly I feel better too. In the meantime, I know that I will get through this and a lot of my self-talk and frepetitive motivation relates back to my previous post on perspective. Although these blue days are less about wallowing and more about just making it through the day, perspective is a good reminder that I am pretty darn blessed and amidst the desire to hide beneath the duvet covers, I get up and face the day. Not like a warrior or a boss, my brain goes into dormant mode and everything feels surreal ,like a dream almost, but hindsight tells me, it will get better, be better and that my brain will wake up a little less burdened in the next day, week or month.
As I said before, a mixture of medication, motivational speeches, positive thoughts and acceptance help me survive. .Knowledge and skills I have picked up along the way and determination to not let this be the boss of me. I know that there are good days and bad days, but when the good outnumber the bad and you know that progress has been made, coping and getting through it is a smidge easier.
So, I revealed some pretty hard to share stuff here and it was hard! Being vulnerable to an audience and even declaring these things to yourself is pretty terrifying. I even sent it to a friend before posting it, to ask her if I should even post it, for fear of being judged or labeled as unhinged. She reminded me that sharing these experiences is good, because we hide behind the facacde of what we think the world wants us to be, expects us to be and then walk these silent journeys questioning ourselves and berating ourselves, only to find out that we are not alone in the struggles. So, if you too have felt less than normal, don't think you are alone or crazy. We are broken people trying to walk this complicated path of life. So let's break those barriers that tell us that to be accepted we have to be a certain way, and hide those 'corner crazies' or spiders from the under the couch, from the world. It's not quite what I want to embrace (the challenges of mental health), but I certainly want to accept it, own it and not feel inferior because of it. I want to be unapologetically me, and in a way my dear friend also reminded me of this, that sharing these experiences is not only a kind of therapy to me, it is also a means to let those of you who may have experienced similar emotions and thoughts, that it is ok. You are not totally alone, there are others out there also hiding their absurdities from the world, even from themselves. So may you overcome your 'blue' Monday's knowing it will pass, you are not alone and most of all that tomorrow (or in the not too distant future) will be better, brighter and beautiful. Don't delay getting help if you feel you need it. For me, I got help, I am making progress and I am learning that all people have their challenges and hopefully my experiences can help others and help me understand others, be compassionate and show empathy to others, without judgement. In any case, no matter the person, you do not know what invisible challenges they may be facing and although some of us are pretty good at hiding behind humour and a smile, those who are also distant need your support and kindness. We are on this path together. Let's support each other without judgement. Mental health issues are not faced by everyone, but we all face challenges. These are my daily challenges. I don't like them, but they are here. And as the song lyrics from the The Greatest Showman says ' And I am marching on to the beat I drum, I'm not scared to be seen, I make no apologies, this is me'. I am working on getting to that place, despite the bruises, 'I am who I am meant to be.'
Thank you for reading,
Blessings, Jax
So Monday was 'blue', I felt 'blue' and like I said I had some warning signs. I had a little worry about leaving the laundry door open for the cat in the evening while little miss is alseep in her room, I had a go at poor the poor husband for only locking the laundry gate and not the door as well. I couldn't bring myself to go out much especially while my hubby was away on school camp, apart from taking my daughter to school and fetching her again, for fear I may be involved in a car accident or some other misfortune manifested itself.
As I said though, I am more in control of these unhelpful thoughts now, but they wait until I feel down and emerge like a spider from beneath a couch, unannounced and unwelcome, but with no choice but to see that it is there. The response, that is where it all lies. Do you rescue it and put it outside? Do you spray it with poison? Flatten it with a shoe or broom? Make friends with it? I am still figuring things out and I know that at this very moment, I am struggling a bit in this area. Change; stress; things beyond my control; all take refuge in my mind. What I can say is that when I look back, I can see progress and ownership. In the past I felt weak when admitting to struggling with my own mental health, but I feel stronger and am slowly becoming more unapologetically accepting of this journey. There are going to be'blue mondays' and 'blue any other days' of the week for that matter, but I feel that they are less frequent than they used to be and blue is better than black, so that's a positive. It reminds me that I need to let my brain zone out a little, otherwise I may feel like going to the deserted island I wanted to go to all by myself indefinitely. I know that I also need to exercise and eat better, because when I do this properly I feel better too. In the meantime, I know that I will get through this and a lot of my self-talk and frepetitive motivation relates back to my previous post on perspective. Although these blue days are less about wallowing and more about just making it through the day, perspective is a good reminder that I am pretty darn blessed and amidst the desire to hide beneath the duvet covers, I get up and face the day. Not like a warrior or a boss, my brain goes into dormant mode and everything feels surreal ,like a dream almost, but hindsight tells me, it will get better, be better and that my brain will wake up a little less burdened in the next day, week or month.
As I said before, a mixture of medication, motivational speeches, positive thoughts and acceptance help me survive. .Knowledge and skills I have picked up along the way and determination to not let this be the boss of me. I know that there are good days and bad days, but when the good outnumber the bad and you know that progress has been made, coping and getting through it is a smidge easier.
So, I revealed some pretty hard to share stuff here and it was hard! Being vulnerable to an audience and even declaring these things to yourself is pretty terrifying. I even sent it to a friend before posting it, to ask her if I should even post it, for fear of being judged or labeled as unhinged. She reminded me that sharing these experiences is good, because we hide behind the facacde of what we think the world wants us to be, expects us to be and then walk these silent journeys questioning ourselves and berating ourselves, only to find out that we are not alone in the struggles. So, if you too have felt less than normal, don't think you are alone or crazy. We are broken people trying to walk this complicated path of life. So let's break those barriers that tell us that to be accepted we have to be a certain way, and hide those 'corner crazies' or spiders from the under the couch, from the world. It's not quite what I want to embrace (the challenges of mental health), but I certainly want to accept it, own it and not feel inferior because of it. I want to be unapologetically me, and in a way my dear friend also reminded me of this, that sharing these experiences is not only a kind of therapy to me, it is also a means to let those of you who may have experienced similar emotions and thoughts, that it is ok. You are not totally alone, there are others out there also hiding their absurdities from the world, even from themselves. So may you overcome your 'blue' Monday's knowing it will pass, you are not alone and most of all that tomorrow (or in the not too distant future) will be better, brighter and beautiful. Don't delay getting help if you feel you need it. For me, I got help, I am making progress and I am learning that all people have their challenges and hopefully my experiences can help others and help me understand others, be compassionate and show empathy to others, without judgement. In any case, no matter the person, you do not know what invisible challenges they may be facing and although some of us are pretty good at hiding behind humour and a smile, those who are also distant need your support and kindness. We are on this path together. Let's support each other without judgement. Mental health issues are not faced by everyone, but we all face challenges. These are my daily challenges. I don't like them, but they are here. And as the song lyrics from the The Greatest Showman says ' And I am marching on to the beat I drum, I'm not scared to be seen, I make no apologies, this is me'. I am working on getting to that place, despite the bruises, 'I am who I am meant to be.'
Thank you for reading,
Blessings, Jax
Friday 2 February 2018
Perspectives refracted
I won't lie to you, moving has not been easy. Besides the packing and unpacking, getting our rental bond back (Still waiting - 7 weeks and counting) and all the usual stress that goes with moving, it's the moving of the mind, heart and soul from all you know, your friends, all things familiar and immersing into all things unfamiliar, new and daunting that is the real hard part. The stress of unpacking and deciding where to put things, the newness of a new place, new area, beaches, friends visiting and the busyness of the first few weeks dulled the initial separation and sadness of leaving behind friends, familiarty and memories.
It wasnt until about our 5th week of being here, that I actually really processed everything. Change isn't easy, it isn't necessarily bad, it is just hard sometimes. My hubby started his new job the week before school went back, so I had a week with my little miss, but I started feeling unsettled and shaky. I was cranky and snappy and on the verge of tears for much of the time. I couldn't quite fathom it, but in the back of my mind I was thinking of my friends, students and colleagues back in Maryborough, also back at school (or almsot back at school) and me, not being there, in my familiar place, with them. This was exacerbated by the husband having a new job and me realising that I was jobless and am not too thrilled about the prospects of uncertainty.
Anyway, so while I was doing this selfish wallowing and trying to remind myself (not very successfully - wallowing is a pretty strong power) that I am pretty blessed and lucky and have a lot to be grateful for, and spiralling into a state of despair, I got a text from my mom that my uncle's cancer is back and that it is at stage 4. And there I sat, teary and quite unimpressed with myself for making my problems seem like mountains, when really, they pale in comparison to some of the tragedies in the world. (My uncle is due to start chemo soon, not sure the exact details of prognosis at this stage, but there seems to be a glimmer of hope). I was also still mulling over another post (that started giving me a bit of perspective - link is here, mind some of the language though, but worth a read) http://www.samanthawillsfoundation.org/contributors/2018/1/6/holly-butcher-1990-2018
I also came across a friend's passionate, powerful and poignant Facebook post. This dear lady, in her early 30's lost her husband suddenly in the middle of the night, right beside her, a few months ago. She is now a widow, a young mum of three beautful kiddies and one bub on the way. Hope, her eldest has just started school and the new addition is due later this year. And one of her Facebook posts in mid January related to how she was teaching her children about Job in the Bible. Job endured so much hardship, satan tested him (see the back story in Job if you wan tto know why and more details on these occurrences) and he lost everything, including his children. Even Job's wife told him to turn, 'Curse God and die,' but Job remained faithful to God through the testing, through losing everything, his possessions, his family, his wealth and health. Eventually, Job's faith and perserverance are rewarded. He is blessed with double of what he had and lives to a ripe old age. But in the midst of his despair (which he is very much entitled to) he does not turn from God. He does not understand, but his faithfulness stands firm. Emma then says this, 'I was challenged that I may not understand what's happened in my life, but I am jolly well trusting the Lord. This is crazy to some. But it's the truth I know to be real, unmovable, firm and bring peace.'
Wow. Just wow. What a reality check. Often I am so engrossed in my own (head) drama, that I selfishly lose sight of the reality of the blessings in my life, the things that I take for granted every single day. I allow my emotions to grow bigger than God, which is pretty pathetic really. I know that I will find myself wallowing again, but that still quiet voice of persepctive grows louder and louder each time, reminding me to cherish and value this precious gift of life, even when it gets hard, or when I think it is hard, but in the greater scheme of things, I am privileged and blessed. Life is full of lessons, if we allow ourselves to hear them and really listen to them. There will be adversity, there will be challenges, but when I think on the reason for my misery, I give myself a stern talking to. Yes, moving is hard, being without a job is challenging, living with anxiety is not a walk in the park, but really, life's tests make us stronger and opening myself to objective perspectives is leading me on an inward journey of self-discovery and delving deeper into God's Word.
The lesson: Less about me, more about the plight of those in need. More about turning to God and having faith. I accept that some days are and will be harder than others and some situations test me more than others, but I am reminded that God has got this and when I start wallowing, I need to get God's perspective in check. To new beginnings, new places and new perspectives. To cherishing, to delighting, to hoping, to believing, to having joy regardless.
Thank you for reading. Until next time...
PS Here is beautiful Emma's full post if you would like to read it all
It wasnt until about our 5th week of being here, that I actually really processed everything. Change isn't easy, it isn't necessarily bad, it is just hard sometimes. My hubby started his new job the week before school went back, so I had a week with my little miss, but I started feeling unsettled and shaky. I was cranky and snappy and on the verge of tears for much of the time. I couldn't quite fathom it, but in the back of my mind I was thinking of my friends, students and colleagues back in Maryborough, also back at school (or almsot back at school) and me, not being there, in my familiar place, with them. This was exacerbated by the husband having a new job and me realising that I was jobless and am not too thrilled about the prospects of uncertainty.
Anyway, so while I was doing this selfish wallowing and trying to remind myself (not very successfully - wallowing is a pretty strong power) that I am pretty blessed and lucky and have a lot to be grateful for, and spiralling into a state of despair, I got a text from my mom that my uncle's cancer is back and that it is at stage 4. And there I sat, teary and quite unimpressed with myself for making my problems seem like mountains, when really, they pale in comparison to some of the tragedies in the world. (My uncle is due to start chemo soon, not sure the exact details of prognosis at this stage, but there seems to be a glimmer of hope). I was also still mulling over another post (that started giving me a bit of perspective - link is here, mind some of the language though, but worth a read) http://www.samanthawillsfoundation.org/contributors/2018/1/6/holly-butcher-1990-2018
I also came across a friend's passionate, powerful and poignant Facebook post. This dear lady, in her early 30's lost her husband suddenly in the middle of the night, right beside her, a few months ago. She is now a widow, a young mum of three beautful kiddies and one bub on the way. Hope, her eldest has just started school and the new addition is due later this year. And one of her Facebook posts in mid January related to how she was teaching her children about Job in the Bible. Job endured so much hardship, satan tested him (see the back story in Job if you wan tto know why and more details on these occurrences) and he lost everything, including his children. Even Job's wife told him to turn, 'Curse God and die,' but Job remained faithful to God through the testing, through losing everything, his possessions, his family, his wealth and health. Eventually, Job's faith and perserverance are rewarded. He is blessed with double of what he had and lives to a ripe old age. But in the midst of his despair (which he is very much entitled to) he does not turn from God. He does not understand, but his faithfulness stands firm. Emma then says this, 'I was challenged that I may not understand what's happened in my life, but I am jolly well trusting the Lord. This is crazy to some. But it's the truth I know to be real, unmovable, firm and bring peace.'
Wow. Just wow. What a reality check. Often I am so engrossed in my own (head) drama, that I selfishly lose sight of the reality of the blessings in my life, the things that I take for granted every single day. I allow my emotions to grow bigger than God, which is pretty pathetic really. I know that I will find myself wallowing again, but that still quiet voice of persepctive grows louder and louder each time, reminding me to cherish and value this precious gift of life, even when it gets hard, or when I think it is hard, but in the greater scheme of things, I am privileged and blessed. Life is full of lessons, if we allow ourselves to hear them and really listen to them. There will be adversity, there will be challenges, but when I think on the reason for my misery, I give myself a stern talking to. Yes, moving is hard, being without a job is challenging, living with anxiety is not a walk in the park, but really, life's tests make us stronger and opening myself to objective perspectives is leading me on an inward journey of self-discovery and delving deeper into God's Word.
The lesson: Less about me, more about the plight of those in need. More about turning to God and having faith. I accept that some days are and will be harder than others and some situations test me more than others, but I am reminded that God has got this and when I start wallowing, I need to get God's perspective in check. To new beginnings, new places and new perspectives. To cherishing, to delighting, to hoping, to believing, to having joy regardless.
Thank you for reading. Until next time...
PS Here is beautiful Emma's full post if you would like to read it all
Yesterday morning I was teaching the children about Job in the bible. They listened as I shared how God allowed satan to test him. You see Job was blameless and upright, he feared the Lord and shun evil. He loved God and was a good man! But Satan said to God that he (Job) would curse Him (God) if he took everything he has. Well, God said very well everything he has is in your hands, but you can't lay a finger on Job. So the test began. The Sabeans attacked, killed his servants took his oxen and donkey's. More sheep and servants were burnt with fire. Camels were stolen and his 10 sons and daughters were killed. Job still loved and trusted the Lord. He would have been shocked, terrified, grief stricken.
Satan came back to God and basically said, if you let me get to his skin and bones he will curse you. God said okay, but you must spare his life. So he then was afflicted with painful sores from the soles of his feet to the top of his head. His wife said to him, "Are you still holding onto your integrity? Curse God and die!" He told her she was talking like a foolish woman.. Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble? In all this, Job did not sin. Check out Job in the bible from start to finish.
But when I shared with my children the Lords reply to Job in all this, I had to pass on the children's devotional to my sister to take over for I myself was greatly moved. The Lord said, "Where were you when I laid the earth's foundations? Tell me, if you understand. Who marked off its dimensions? Surely you know! Who stretched a measuring line across it? On what were its footings set or who laid its cornerstone while the morning stars sang together and all the angels shouted for joy? In chapter 39:27 the Lord says, does the eagle soar at your command and build his nest on high.
I was challenged that I may not understand what's happened in my life, but I am jolly well trusting the Lord. This is crazy to some. But it's the truth I know to be real, unmovable, firm, and bring peace. The one true God that is coming back again I serve
🙌
But when I shared with my children the Lords reply to Job in all this, I had to pass on the children's devotional to my sister to take over for I myself was greatly moved. The Lord said, "Where were you when I laid the earth's foundations? Tell me, if you understand. Who marked off its dimensions? Surely you know! Who stretched a measuring line across it? On what were its footings set or who laid its cornerstone while the morning stars sang together and all the angels shouted for joy? In chapter 39:27 the Lord says, does the eagle soar at your command and build his nest on high.
I was challenged that I may not understand what's happened in my life, but I am jolly well trusting the Lord. This is crazy to some. But it's the truth I know to be real, unmovable, firm, and bring peace. The one true God that is coming back again I serve
🙌
After all this testing, the Lord blessed Job! He actually was given double than what he had before, had more children. He lived 140 years, saw his children and their children to the fourth generation. He died old and full of years.
May you each one be encouraged in your testing, in the valleys of life. Learn the truth and the truth will set you free!
May you each one be encouraged in your testing, in the valleys of life. Learn the truth and the truth will set you free!
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