Today marks one month of forty-ness. I am still finding my forties, but what I can say is that I am quite enjoying the updated version of myself, 'Jax 4.0' as I like to call it. So what does Jax 4.0 mean? I am still figuring this out as I go along, but at this stage it means the relaxed, chilled, go-with-the-flow version of me. It doesn't mean not having an opinion, but more so about not stressing about things out of my control, doing the best I can with the circumstances I face and enjoying this one life I have been blessed with. Instead of getting frustrated, I will be aim to be more peaceful, calm and friendly. I notice more and more how apologetic people are when there are long waits and I imagine that sometimes these folks get some irate customers yelling at them for things they are unable to control. So my pledge is simply this for now, that when I can't control the circumstances, be it long queues, or whatever, that I embrace it. The world has enough negativity and nastiness, than for me to add to it and blame myself or others for things out of my/their control. Obviously, I will be reasonable, I do value justice, but when it simply means being friendly or polite, considering others and showing compassion and kindness, these are the areas I hope to work on and improve upon in my forties. That does not mean the sass is gone, it just means that I will try leave more positve footprints on my daily journeys and hopefully these footprints will step into the hearts and lives of those who need a laugh, some love and a whole lotta charisma. In general, I am pretty positive, but I did let stress get a hold of my attitude, and this was never helpful for my mental health (which, if you have read my previous posts, you will agree that it was not helpful for me and anyone really).
We have been blessed with one life, we have been gifted talents and we have been given this beautiful world, so please join with me in enjoying it. There will be tough times, but help me as I embrace positivity, joy, laughter and love, show gratitude, be kind and try make other people's day better rather than worse.
Thank you for reading
Jax 4.0.
Tuesday 15 May 2018
Wednesday 2 May 2018
What the forty part 1
Less than a week ago I entered my forties, and to be honest I do not know where the time went. I have memories of highschool like they were yesterday, back when I thought 30 was ancient, yet now I am 40 and certainly don't feel ancient (maybe just a little less agile). 'Round-number' birthdays are considered 'big ones' and I suppose with that label, I have felt the urge to reflect on the past 10 years of my life.
My 30th birthday was celebrated in my country of birth South Africa. We were in the process of applying to move to Australia. We were desperate to become parents despite two unsuccessful rounds of IVF, owned our own home, had secure jobs and family close by. Despite some of the hurdles, we were mostly settled before deciding that we wanted to relocate to a new country.
Anyway, I digress. We have now been in Australia for almost a decade and they have certainly been a busy 10 years. We were blessed with our daughter who is now 7, I have experienced a variety of eductional settings, which I believe contribute to my understanding and empathy for our young people. Furthermore, I completed a Master of Education focusing on School Guidance and Counselling. When I write these things down, I feel somewhat better about where I am. I had this notion that by 40 I should have life figured out. We would own a home, I would be in my perfect profession and I would be pretty confident at this whole adulting thing.
As I look at these expectations, I see that I put a lot of pressure on myself (I think most of us are guilty of this) and then feel like a failure for the things I have not achieved. But then I look at the enriching life experiences I have been blessed with and realise that by God's grace, I have achieved much. I don't suppose I will ever confidently 'adult', but I certainly will take more notice of the things that have brought me to where I am. 30's certainly overflowed with blessings and experiences. Some were difficult, like leaving family and friends to move to another country, facing mental health struggles and more, but overall I can say that for the most part 30's helped me grow into present day me (Jacqui 4.0 hahaha).
30's helped me learn more about the world, it helped me realise how little I do know and how much I still have to learn. Mostly though it taught me that it's ok not to have everything figured out, not to have achieved every goal ever set. It helped me realise that life is more than a set of goals, but the journey we take from start to finish. I was a bit hard on myself initally, thinking that by 40 I should have done this, that and the other. But when I look back on the places I have visited, friends I have made, experiences I have had, they have been wonderful and rich and once again I am reminded how blessed I am, how much I have to be grateful for and that there is more to life than a set of goals. Goals are good, but I won't let them define me or let the lack of reaching them all make me feel inadequate. Here is to 'Fearless' 40, I am still job hunting and hoping to own my own home, but for now I celebrate the last 10 years and remind myself of the bigger picture - I have learnt more, grown more and lived more. Let's be kinder to ourselves. Here's to the next 40 (kaa-ching of champagne glasses).
Thank you for reading.
Blessings,
Jax
My 30th birthday was celebrated in my country of birth South Africa. We were in the process of applying to move to Australia. We were desperate to become parents despite two unsuccessful rounds of IVF, owned our own home, had secure jobs and family close by. Despite some of the hurdles, we were mostly settled before deciding that we wanted to relocate to a new country.
Anyway, I digress. We have now been in Australia for almost a decade and they have certainly been a busy 10 years. We were blessed with our daughter who is now 7, I have experienced a variety of eductional settings, which I believe contribute to my understanding and empathy for our young people. Furthermore, I completed a Master of Education focusing on School Guidance and Counselling. When I write these things down, I feel somewhat better about where I am. I had this notion that by 40 I should have life figured out. We would own a home, I would be in my perfect profession and I would be pretty confident at this whole adulting thing.
As I look at these expectations, I see that I put a lot of pressure on myself (I think most of us are guilty of this) and then feel like a failure for the things I have not achieved. But then I look at the enriching life experiences I have been blessed with and realise that by God's grace, I have achieved much. I don't suppose I will ever confidently 'adult', but I certainly will take more notice of the things that have brought me to where I am. 30's certainly overflowed with blessings and experiences. Some were difficult, like leaving family and friends to move to another country, facing mental health struggles and more, but overall I can say that for the most part 30's helped me grow into present day me (Jacqui 4.0 hahaha).
30's helped me learn more about the world, it helped me realise how little I do know and how much I still have to learn. Mostly though it taught me that it's ok not to have everything figured out, not to have achieved every goal ever set. It helped me realise that life is more than a set of goals, but the journey we take from start to finish. I was a bit hard on myself initally, thinking that by 40 I should have done this, that and the other. But when I look back on the places I have visited, friends I have made, experiences I have had, they have been wonderful and rich and once again I am reminded how blessed I am, how much I have to be grateful for and that there is more to life than a set of goals. Goals are good, but I won't let them define me or let the lack of reaching them all make me feel inadequate. Here is to 'Fearless' 40, I am still job hunting and hoping to own my own home, but for now I celebrate the last 10 years and remind myself of the bigger picture - I have learnt more, grown more and lived more. Let's be kinder to ourselves. Here's to the next 40 (kaa-ching of champagne glasses).
Thank you for reading.
Blessings,
Jax
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